There is a common phrase that assumptions only make an ass out of you and me. Cliches are cliches for a reason. 

My time in the hospital was, again, not what I expected. Going into the surgery I was nervous about the physical pain. I definitely did not want to keep Babs so avoiding the physical pain was not an option. I felt a peace about this going into surgery. Surgery itself was fine. I was under anesthesia the entire time and thankfully I have no bruises on my eyelids or underneath my eyes. My surgeon was able to use the opening from Babs to complete my surgery. In other words, I only had one incision point for this surgery as opposed to the 7 points of entry in getting my ileostomy. One point of entry is easy peasy at this rate. After surgery, there were no rooms available for me so I stayed in a recovery room for almost four hours before moving upstairs. I was in and out of consciousness because of the anesthesia so I wasn’t too aware of what was going on. I was more concerned with my dry throat and lips from the tube I had down my throat for surgery. But I was confident recovery would be fine because of my amazing math skills: 7 points of entry vs. 1 point of entry. Oof, was I wrong. I was put on a liquid diet to ease my bowels back into movement. But it is hard to poop on an all liquid diet. It’s an oxymoron. The menu for a liquid diet is pretty pathetic. I tried to order chicken broth but apparently that has milk in it so I wasn’t allowed to order. Why? Because I have a milk-whey intolerance in my chart. Before surgery the hospital wanted me to drink Ensure 3x a day. The first three ingredients are: water, corn syrup and sugar with a milk-whey protein. Knowing my body, a milk-whey protein three times a day will upset my stomach. And quite frankly, corn syrup is the second ingredient and sugar is the third. Do better. My options were extremely limited but the pain was significant. I opted for a heavier pain medication the second day to try to get better sleep. But an empty stomach and a narcotic did not mix well. I had been nauseous most of the day then around 7pm, I puked. My puke was a green-ish color and that was one of the most painful experiences. My stomach is already tender then using my abs to clench to throw up was not pleasant. I felt better and tried a little applesauce but that was short-lived as I threw up again around 9pm. Each episode was several rounds of throwing up. And in the moment on the hospital bathroom floor, I did question if I was doing the “right” thing in my reversal. This is not what I expected. This surgery was supposed to be the easy surgery. Instead, tears were running down my cheeks, I was in a lot of pain and I was not going home in a day as I expected. I opted for an anti-nausea medicine through my IV the second night and was able to sleep. Finally. And sleep did wonders. I woke up Sunday morning feeling much better and more like myself . My GI tract started to get moving and I was able to move around better. My surgeon’s partner was on call and came during his rounds. He looked at my plug and then proceeded to take out my plug. Holy hell. I white-knuckled my bed as he is just pulling out the bandage very nonchalantly. (Well, in my opinion). My surgeon sewed closed my hole from Babs on the inside but the outside is left open and oozy. I thought I would have a linear scar from Babs but instead it will look more like a shotgun wound. (And to all my friends who know of my snafus with skin glue, I know better this time!). I was able to eat some chicken and a few saltines coupled with a lot of water and I started farting and pooping a little. Never been excited to fart before. And per the new Martin motto: never trust a fart. Funny or not, it is my reality. For now, I am so thankful to be home. In my own space, listening to my kids argue with each other, moving forward in my recovery. 

Thank you friends and family for all the prayers and positive vibes this past weekend. What would I do without my village?