When we went to visit our cousins in Upstate New York, we would sometimes stay at a place called Camp Pinnacle. No, this was not a super fun camp we got to attend as kids. Camp Pinnacle had to be the cheapest hotel in Upstate New York. Maybe because it wasn’t a hotel but a Bible camp. Not even sure how we got a room. But it wasn’t much. The room was tiny with bright yellow walls, ugly thin brown carpet, two double beds (for a family of 6) and no television or radio. My older sisters and I would be left here while my parents took Margee, who is six years younger than me, and went out antiquing. Jen, my oldest sister, would read, Bec, the next in line, was so bored she would clean the bathroom. Little Lizzy was not interested in reading and no thank you for cleaning. Instead, I would go outside and look for four-leaf clovers. I was so bored that looking closely at grass was my entertainment. Talk about a thrilling vacation. Camp Pinnacle had lots of kids as it was a day camp and an overnight camp. What is the old adage: boredom fosters creativity? Maybe. Being bored, I would gravitate toward finding other people. Eventually, I figured out when people would gather at the canteen area where they had a foosball table. It cost a dollar to borrow a ball for the game. Of course I didn’t have a dollar and my parents were gone so I bartered my shoes. I wouldn’t lose the ball as long as they had my shoes. Easy enough. For about an hour a day, I had people to play with. I was definitely the outcast because I was not a camper, did not know anyone and did not have on shoes. But being around people, playing a somewhat competitive game, helped to ease my boredom and gave me something to look forward to while the days ticked by at Camp Pinnacle. I mean, it was this or finding four-leaf clovers. And I never found one. 

2024 was quite the year. I was not sorry to see it go. At the start of a new year, many people will pick a word for the year. A word that resonates with them, guides them, encourages them. When I was an English teacher, I had a sign that read: words matter. So I tried to think what could be my word. Maybe live? Well, that sounds a little dramatic. But for a couple weeks before the details of my diagnosis, I was not sure of my life expectancy. And I was scared. Staying alive sounded like a good goal. Maybe I’ll look for a less melodramatic word. Persevere? I already used this word in 2017 when my marriage was imploding. Can you double-dip on words? Are there rules? Perhaps my word should be experiences. But I feel I need to clarify: GOOD experiences because 2024 had plenty of experiences: radiation, chemotherapy, surgeries, scans. All new experiences. But 0/10 would recommend these experiences. Next word. Perspective? I like this word a lot. I believe if we change our perspective, everything else adapts to that shift and a new outlook is born. Not a bad word. Or maybe my word should be adventure. I have a keen desire to travel with my family in 2025. In some regards, I feel this is me wanting to make-up for a really shitty 2024. During my radiation days, I would envision being in Hawaii. I honestly cannot say why or how I picked this place, but end goal was me frolicking on a beach in Hawaii. Perfectly healthy. Laughing with Chris and the kids. In awe of nature’s beauty. I am not sure one word can encompass all I want to express in 2025 because my cancer journey reinforced how precious life is. And one thing I will manifest into fruition is traveling more. Chris and I have been working and saving to buy a larger house that can better fit our family’s needs (only so much soccer can be played in a 12’x13’ room). In saving for a house, we have sacrificed traveling opportunities. But maybe, just maybe, I don’t need to feel financially guilty for wanting to take a trip with my family and create memories. Memories better than Camp Pinnacle. Memories to look back on with fondness, laughter and gratitude. And that word gratitude pops up again. Maybe my word is gratitude. While sitting with this word, I have a big, whole-body sigh because 2024 allowed me to feel how loved I am. Words matter and while I might not have the perfect word for 2025 just yet, I look forward to continuing my journey toward perfect health and to living life full of gratitude, adventure, humility and joy. The end is in sight and it is incredible to say that and actually believe that is true as well.

Oh, and my last home health nurse ordered some skin barrier supplies that came yesterday. Guess what? Not the right ones. Grrr. Sounds about right. 
Liz